Every month I think I will write about a legal topic – and then I sit down with a new client and I remember why I do this work.

Personalization is key to a functioning estate plan. I recently met with a potential client who dutifully completed his estate plan in the month his son was born. His trust left 70 percent of his assets to his girlfriend, the rest divided among his parents and siblings. His son was only listed as a contingent beneficiary. If this child had lost both of his parents, he would have received his full inheritance from his father – millions of dollars – on his 18th birthday. If his mother was alive at the time of his father’s death, he would have received nothing from his father.

This father was very surprised when I asked him, long before we discussed his assets, who he loves, who he trusts and who he feels responsible for. I asked him what opportunities he always wants his son to have. He was thrilled to discover that I could draft a trust that would guide his son according to his values of sportsmanship, entrepreneurship, musicality, and independence while providing protection from creditors. He realized that giving his son’s mother his assets left those assets at risk – what if she was found liable in a lawsuit, or suffered a major medical condition? He was thrilled to hear about my guardianship nomination form – an eight-page document where parents can provide guidance on education, religion, travel to see loved ones, list advisors for the legal guardians (is your child a musical prodigy? List his music teacher or your mentor in that area, for example). If he were to pass away, his son’s mother would have a list of traditions and people that were important to him and she could honor these always as she raised their son.

Your trust should be a reflection of your values and an expression of your love for and trust in the people in your lives. It should not be merely a dissemination of assets on your death.

Work with an attorney who asks you a lot of questions about yourself, your values, the people in your life and their frailties and struggles. Estate planning encompasses your hopes and fears for the future and addresses both.